From Uncategorized

I’m still alive, dear readers, if there are any of you left.

What I’m listening to in the background as I write this: Merry Happy by Kate Nash Sorry I’ve been silent.  I’ve just been busy. Stricken with death *my grandmother* who I lived with and took care of for the past 6 years died at the age of 99, on July 31. My mom got diagnosed with breast cancer first of this year. I worked like a dog at my job between the two shitty events. Now I have moved back home to take care of her. Not working. Trying to write my novel–as always–. It sucks. She–my mom–is ok. Maybe going…

Finding time to write

My last post was a little bit negative. I know that negativity breeds more negativity.  But, part of being 30 means, I do not take shit. I’ve sort of starting invoking this idea and name over and over again. It reminds me of the beginning of a Fela Kuti song “you give me shit; I give you shit,” then a jumble of bass and drums and guitar, with horns churning to an afro-funk rhythm . The thought of a Monday morning ahead of me breeds nervousness and anxiety. I have not prepared for my classes like I told myself I…

The Day Lady Died

(Originally written October 14, 2009) Do you ever wonder, if you were to die all of a sudden, what would your life be worth?  If you were to die slowly, say, of cancer, like my writer friend did last October, would you write like your life depended on it? I met a kindred soul in Leila Abu-Saba, author of Dove’s Eye View.  I have known her since my MFA program at Mills College. We were classmates. Sometimes we disagreed on things, other times we dished back and forth, other times we shared intimate details of our lives and histories. Because I…

I had a dream last night that everybody at work read my blog

Is that weird? Oh well. I dreamt I was at an English Dept. meeting at the school where I teach, the same one we have at the beginning of each semester to discuss the semester’s business and of all things,  my blog came up as a subject of discussion on the agenda. Then I dreamt that my boss said that she had been reading it eagerly and had been an avid follower of it for years. Then different coworkers, some I get along with and some I find to be difficult, also brightly looked up from their agenda items and…

Athena

I love this painting.  It’s Athena by Susan Seddon Boulet.  I didn’t know this, but she was an artist who lived in Oakland and died of cancer in the late 1990’s. I found post-cards of her work when I was 16 in an eclectic store in Hermosa Beach. Kind of reminds me of the idea of rebirth.

Wildguppy is back

To all of you who dream, who yearn, who believe in striving to be your best against all odds, I am your sister in the struggle between freedom and pain. This is my battlecry: Read it and refuse to weep.